Jeremy London

as Self - Chandler Hampton, 7th Heaven

as Vince Cronin

as Mr. Collins

as Adult Billy / Narrator

as Joe

as Patrick

as Chris

as Erik

as Officer Rick

as Robert

as Preston

as Cody

as General Madden

as Karl

as Uncle Zeke

as Hayley's Stepfather

as Recon

as Captain Iberson

as Mr. Holmes

as Superfoot

as Pursey Hicks

as Webb Langston

as Alexander

as Chuck Lawson

as Jim Datsun

as Detective Lee

as Jenkins

as Henry

as Gary

as Black Devert

as Driver

as David Stevens

as Hoppy

as Brooklyn Davis

as Ralph

as Whateley

as Russel Bayne

as Jake Farber

as Kurt Ross

as Adam Franklin

as Policeman two

as Andy

as Helm

as Jackson Armstrong

as James White

as Dr. Harrison 'Harry' McColl

as Julian

as Self

as Ethan Poe / Frederick Usher

as Capt. Alexander 'Sandie' Pendleton

as Patrick

as Louis Jeffries

as Jonas Lytton

as Jonas Lytton

as Wyman James

as Self - Panelist

as Self

as Tony Thompson / Philip

as Danny Wells

as Billy Rabe

as Bob

as Chandler Hampton

as T.S. Quint

as Jack

as Rick Chilton

as Mason

as John Deal as Adult

as Chris

as Mickey Hackett

as Griffin Holbrook

as Sonny Snow

as Nathaniel 'Nathan' Bedford

as Teenager #1

as Pirate

as Carl