Ian Weiner

as Eddie Temsla / Illuminati Ian / The Diety / The God of Exposition / Ian Weiner / The Pilot / Bob Iger / Cillian Murphy

as Dwayne Johnson / Poor Guy / Ian Cumulonimbus / Security Guard / Boom Op / Ian /Jamie / Dr. Evil / Mikhail Jordachev

as School Lunch Infomercial Student 2 / Young Ian

as Ian

as Student #3

as Grandpa

as Ian / Irina

as Security Officer

as Ian Weiner